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How Many Breaths?

9/23/2019

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“How many breaths have you taken so far in your life?”

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Hello and Happy Monday,
 
This is our last week focusing on Pranayama and my 52nd week of writing this weekly blog! I am extremely proud of myself for showing up each week for an entire year to focus on yoga. Writing this blog has been an incredible outlet for me and the responses I’ve received from you have been highlights for me during my week.
 
This past weekend I spent training with Gary Kraftsow in a workshop called “Yoga for Life”. Gary Kraftsow is the founder of the American Viniyoga Institute and teaches yoga therapeutics all over the world. His teachers are “THE” teachers of yoga - T. Krishnamacharya and his son, T. K. V. Desikachar. I’ve trained with Gary before taking his e-courses, Yoga Therapy for Depression course and most recently Essentials of Yoga Therapy. Both have been extremely valuable and I use what I have learned in every class I teach.
 
There was a big emphasis on pranayama this weekend and Gary reminded us of the what the Vedic people had believed: We have a finite number of breaths in our lives – when you are done, you die. I am not sure if I believe this, but I do know the benefits of slowing down my breath and am here to try.
 
On average we take about 15-20 breaths a minute. Let’s take the higher number and do some math. If there are 60 seconds in a minute, that means we take 20 breaths each minute. If we were to slow down our breath and take an inhale for the count of 5 (seconds) and exhale for the count of 5 (seconds), we would now take 6 breaths a minute. If we were able to slow down even more and take an inhale of 10 counts (seconds) and exhale for 10 counts (seconds), we could slow down to 3 breaths a minute – I hope you see where I am going with this….  Longer breath = more minutes to be ALIVE!
 
In order to do this, we know we don’t start with 10, we slowly work our way up. This is called Breath Threshold Capacity and it’s the duration of one full breath that can be sustained for a number of breaths. The classic measure is over 12 breaths. Mastery of a threshold is the ability to do several different ratios within that threshold of 12 times each.
 
What am I talking about, ratio?? The ratio is a proportional relation between parts of the breath. The parts of the breath are broken down into Inhale – Retention – Exhale – Suspension. For example – a typical pranayama practice I do is this:
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This is not just a great way to focus but also to create breath capacity threshold. This practice is about 16 total breaths and takes a lot of concentration and intention. This is not something that becomes an easy habit, this is something that takes dedication and commitment.
 
There are only 3 rules to remember when practicing pranayama:
  1. Do not force the breath.
  2. The retention after inhalation should not be longer than the exhale.
  3. The inhalation should never be longer than the exhalation.

Thank you all!!
With Love, 
Jess


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Rose & Thorn

9/16/2019

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Hi and Happy Monday,
 
It’s the 3rd week of Pranayama and I’m excited to share a story I’ve heard many many times from different teachers about Prana. There are many versions of this story, translated from the Upanishads. The Upanishads are part of the Vedas, which are ancient Sanskrit texts that hold the main philosophical ideas of Hinduism.

The story goes that the five main senses of our nature – the mind, the breath (prana), our speech, hearing, and sight – were arguing on which was the most important. To resolve this argument, they decided that each would leave the body, in turn, to see who was missed the most. First, speech left, the body was fine even though it was mute. Then the eyes left, yet the body thrived even though it was blind. Then the ears left, but the body proceeded to flourish being deaf. Finally, the mind left, and still, the body lived on, although now unconscious. However, the moment prana started to leave, the body began to die. The other senses were losing their life-force quickly and they all rushed to prana, admitted its power and begged it to stay.

Prana, our life-force, the life-force found in all living things, is where our energy comes from to give all the other senses. We cannot function without it and therefore our attention lies in the focus of our prana and trying to guide it with our breath.

There is a saying, “where your attention goes, prana flows” – so where and what are you paying attention to? Is it your pain in your shoulder? Is it your annoying mother-in-law? Is it the job that you want and you can’t get? This is much more than positive thinking, this is about paying attention. Most of the time we don’t even know how magnificent we are. We have no idea how strong, resilient, capable, and knowing we are. There is so much doubt, fueled by fear, and if we pay too much attention to it, it creates a cage, and shackles, and maybe a hood over our head. It may sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’d like you to think about the last time you were hesitant to do something new and talked yourself out of it. Or the last time you suggested doing something only because you knew it couldn’t happen. I’ve done that – many times.

Why pranayama? Why breath? How does this connect? Well, the breath brings us back. Not just one breath, sometimes it’s lots of slow breaths in a row, focusing all the attention there and we realize what really is. 

Each night at dinner with the kids we practice "Rose and Thorn". There are variations of this exercise with the bud of the rose too, but we practice it this way and it works for our family. During dinner, we go around and list our thorns, bad parts of the day, one at a time, and then roses, great parts of the day, one at a time. We've created rules where we don't have to get into our thorns if we don't want to and we can't say the rose was the entire day - there needs to be specifics. Here is our greatest takeaway, at the end of the day when thinking of our thorns, we get to look back with a different lens, and re-asses what really was a thorn - most nights, we don't have any. Our attention always ends with our roses and it's wonderful when there is overlap, like Wednesday's because we are all happy that we get to see each other again. And even though this happens every Wednesday, it's always listed as a rose from every one of us. Where our attention goes, prana flows. We are happy, loved, safe and social. 

How do you bring it back to your breath? How do you practice becoming aware and paying attention?

With Love, 
Jess
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I Love to Laugh

9/9/2019

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Hi and Happy Monday,
 
I hope everyone had a great first weekend of September. We had a great weekend filled with activities and lots of re-connection after time apart. This month's focus is on pranayama and with the school routine starting up, it's a great reminder for me to practice this limb. 
 
This past weekend I finally had Michael and Melissa back for 5 full days. Sharing them has been the absolute worst part of my divorce. Due to the way our uninterrupted summer time worked out, I haven’t had them for 5 full days in over 3 weeks. Normally, when they come home to us they are tired, amped on sugar, moody and disconnected, but after this long apart, everything was amplified. What I have learned over the past year is that sometimes, most of the time, I need to pause everything I am doing so I can be present to re-connect and give them space. It has caused a lot of stress for me. I find myself gung ho in the beginning and it slowly starts to fade as our time moves along and I start worrying about all the things I feel need to get done. Another part of the stress has to do with the fact that Joe and I have to counter what happens outside of our home, this includes us setting up playdates, getting the kids outside, limiting screen time, making sure they have clothes that fit, shoes that fit, other activities for them to participate in, and feeding them all the fruits, all the veggies, all the healthy choices. The serving of healthy foods are easy, the getting to eat them is just another stressful part along with saying no to chicken nuggets, chips, ice cream, french fries, chocolate, and all the other treats. It’s not like I don’t like those things or think they are bad, it’s that they make up their diet half the time and I feel that I have the responsibility of balancing out their diet. For the most part, I feel like the bad parent, the un-fun parent, the strict parent with all the rules, and it sucks.
 
Sometimes I stress about this so much I can’t sleep, I can’t relax, I am angry and moody. Sometimes I am encouraged and feel like change is happening, that we are making progress, that we are making breakthroughs, and then they leave for 5 days and the cycle starts all over.
 
Big breath out, I have this habit of being very serious and very intense about those I love in my life. I forget to have fun. It’s why I love yoga so much, teaching and practicing, it reminds me to lighten up.
 
My very first formal experience with yoga was at a retreat center in the Catskills of NY, a place called New Age Health Spa which is unfortunately closed. I took my mom to the health spa for a Mother’s Day weekend in May of 1996 or 1997. I signed us up for spa services, massage and facial, along with a laughing pranayama class and some other movement classes. I didn’t know what the laughing pranayama class was, but I knew I liked to laugh, so why not.
 
I remember the room we went into for that, it was spacious and there were a lot of people. We formed a big circle, more like an oval, and the teacher was at the end. I think the class was for an hour, but this is over 20 years ago, so I don’t remember exactly. I also don’t remember instructions for the class, what I do remember is the teacher said “We begin” and she had a low voice that began to “HA, HA, HA, HA” and she didn’t stop. Some people got right into it, but there were a lot of us just looking around like “what the…”. When I began, the laughter was forced, but within moments something happened. The laughter took over. I could feel my abdomen pumping and my mouth agape laughing. There is a lightness that took over a free feeling that it was ok to be. I was starting to drool a little because my mouth was open and I was “HAing” and I didn’t care. The more I “HA’d” the more amazing I was feeling and soon snot was coming from my nose and tears from my eyes. Not a ton, but just this release, enough of a release for me to notice, not everyone in the room, and yet, I still didn’t care. I felt amazing. When we finished, and I have no idea how long we did that for, I felt ALIVE. Something happened. It felt like I was me, the best version of me, I was able to listen with focus, I was able to speak with clarity, I was able to BE.
 
If you have taken a beginner yoga series with me, I tell this story on the first night. I tell it for a few reasons. One reason is that everyone will have a different experience in yoga, but ultimately that connected free feeling is what I am hoping the beginners experience through this practice. Another reason is that it reminds me of the experience I had with yoga that first time, how I felt – how the asana practice left me feeling the same way – that that’s why I do yoga.
 
The remembering isn’t just in the breathing, it’s in the laughing too. The healing takes place there. It reminds me that it’s going to be ok and so am I. That I am on the right path. That we are alive here and now and that’s what matters.

With Love and Laughter, 
Jess
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Always Learning

8/19/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

I love learning and I am the type of person that always is looking for the “why”. Yesterday a friend reminded me that not everyone wants to know their why. It has had me thinking since she said it. While in the past I would have spent a lot of time analyzing why and what makes us different, I decided that the next time I encounter someone that appears to not want to know their why to have a conversation. In the meantime, all I can do is focus on why knowing my why is important.
 
Last week I wrote about my back pain – unfortunately, it’s not been the only pain or injury I have incurred from life. Since our focus is on asana, I’ll stick with yoga injuries. A few years ago, I wanted to get back into a deep pigeon. When I started yoga in my 20s I was able to reach my hands over my head to hold my foot and bring it to the back of my head. While that would have been fun to revisit, I wasn’t so focused on that part of the posture, instead, my focus was getting my hips low enough to touch the floor. I was also very focused on getting a front split at the time and the two went together well. I practiced daily on gaining more flexibility in my hips. After about 6 months, I was in front splits and my hips touched the floor in pigeon. I was happy, mostly because I felt strong in the postures and could easily revisit them every time I came to my mat. About a year or two later I started to experience a burning sensation in my left hip. I was seeing a physical therapist at the time to help with a pulled hamstring, which took over 6 months to heal and to help with my psoas muscle. She looked at my hip and suggested getting an MRI. The MRI revealed I had a slight tear in my hip labrum. I knew it was all the pigeon and splits I was doing. I started researching what all this meant and how and why it happened and how to fix it. I spoke with many experienced yoga teachers and while we laughed at all our injuries, we also were saying that if we didn’t change the way we taught yoga we could be leading others down the path of injuries too. After many months of research, advise from experienced teachers, and deep reflection I stopped practicing pigeon and teaching it. I was terrified I would lose students as I dropped pigeon and other postures from my classes and started focusing on strengthening the hips and shoulders and knees. I felt that with pigeon pose done in just about every single yoga class (mostly at the places I was teaching) that I didn’t need to add it also. That, that particular posture didn’t need to be done several times a week for long periods of time – after all that’s how I was injured. I communicated this to my classes in hopes that those attending would become more aware of what is happening with their own bodies. To find out why they practice the postures they do, and why *most practitioners like pigeon so much, beyond “it feels so good”.
 
Then, last year, I had an opportunity to meet one-on-one with a “master teacher”. This teacher has been practicing and teaching yoga for over 40 years, and is well respected and well known in the yoga community. I was excited to sit down and learn and ask all about the psoas and hips and my teaching style. Our meeting was wonderful, better than I could have imagined. So many nuggets of information and one of the best pieces of advice. I brought up my hip and how I stopped teaching pigeon and how I was hoping to help others from getting injured. Without mincing words, this “master teacher” said, (and I paraphrase) “So you are going to save others from an injury you got in your body from a posture that maybe isn’t great for you?” I immediately laughed, because I hadn’t thought of it that way and at that moment realized that no – no, I could not save anyone from injuring themselves in yoga.
 
I left that meeting excited to work – to find out more information on the hips and anatomy to better provide for my classes. It turns out that my targeted research kept me from seeing the entire picture. As I researched I was finding validation for my concerns and how I could only do so much when leading a classroom of practitioners. I was reminded that my style of teaching is not fixed and neither am I, I’m an ever-evolving learning being.
 
I’m sure you will agree you are also not fixed but instead, ever-evolving and changing and learning and growing. And my why – part of why I experience what I do is so I can share and that maybe I can help someone else with my stories. I’m happy to be on this path with you!
 
 
With Love,
Jess
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Yoga Saved my Asana

8/12/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

That's right, yoga saved my butt, well actually, my back. About a year after I had Melissa, I had lower left side back pain that on a good day had me wrapped up in ice and/or heat and on a bad day had me doubled over and if I had a choice, stay in bed all day pain. The pain left me only able to sleep on my right side. I'd love to tell you I got this taken care of quickly, but the truth is, I didn't take the time or have the resources to fix it. As I practiced yoga, some of the pain would alleviate and with a 3-year-old and one-year-old, when that pain seemed to disappear, it was no longer a priority. By the time Melissa was 3, it was ridiculous that I hadn't taken care of myself and was still living with this back pain. By then I was teaching a few classes a week, and learning more and more about anatomy, mostly to help solve this back pain issue. I had started taking Pilates classes again because some of my teachers suggested strengthening my core to help with the pain, and it helped, but the pain persisted. Then one day I came across an article about the psoas muscle, the more I read about it and the issues it can cause matched what I was feeling. I learned so much that day about the psoas muscle and was excited to try out the postures I had already been practicing but with a different intention. 

At the time I was attending 532 Yoga on Washington Street, not only was it 4 blocks from where I was living my friend and favorite teacher, Brittanie DeChino was teaching there. I mention this because that studio was gently heated - the thermostat was always set between 80-85 and I had a good teacher that knew about the body. I showed up to class and asked Brittanie if we could work on some front line, psoas opening postures and of course, she obliged. 

I remember that class clearly. I remember being in a low lunge, right foot forward left leg back and Brittanie asked us to bend into our back leg and reach for the foot. As we stayed there for a few breaths, something happened. I felt a release. And after almost 4 years of discomfort, it appeared that my back pain was gone! I was in disbelief. I was so happy and yet so scared it would come back. That night I slept on my left side without pain smiling the entire time. The pain was gone. I was already paying close attention to how I moved, slept, walked, all so this pain didn't come back and now I was even more diligent so it didn't return. I was still learning about this psoas muscle and all it encompassed and here is what I noticed.

 - When I didn't get a good night sleep - up for a few hours comforting a child- my back pain came back
 - When I was extra stressed out - my back pain came back 
 - When I wasn't taking care of myself - not doing yoga, shallow breathing - my back pain came back
 - When I was scared or afraid and let those fears take over - that back pain came right back.

I learned that my psoas on my left side was stretched out and super tight. Think about pulling a rubber band so tight it can't move. While comparing muscles to rubber bands is not my favorite analogy, I think it makes it clear. I learned that muscles can be stretched out and weak, or stretched and toned, or not stretched and weak and not stretched and toned. And there are more in-betweens in there. I also learned that when I don't take care of myself it's not just that I don't feel great, I am in literal physical pain. 

How I practice as a student has a great influence on how I teach and how and what I teach isn't fixed, I am always evolving and learning. Yoga really saved my back and what I hoped with how I teach and the workshops I put together helped others too. 

I'd love to hear how the asana practice has had an influence on you. 

With Love, 
Jess
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Walking the Path...

8/5/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

We are in our first full week of August and I couldn't be happier. Michael and I share August as our birthday month, and I still get excited about my birthday and even more about the day I became a mom. While I am happy to be able to celebrate these milestones, our birthdays are at the end of the summer which means school is starting up again. A bittersweet time, summer is fun and carefree and school is full of routine, structure and lots of work. I believe we need both. I believe asana (ahhs-on-a) works the same way.

Asana is the third limb of the eight limb path of yoga. Yamas and niyamas were the first two limbs. So let's climb this tree. First, the way I remember how to say asana is that isn't a sauna, so I hear it in my head before I say it. The word asana is sometimes translated as "comfortable", "easy", or "seat". It is described as a comfortable seat that can be held for a long period of time. Keep in mind that "seat" doesn't literally mean sitting down, but instead a position we can hold.

When we move our body it feels good, and we need to move our body for lots of reasons. One reason is to clear energies in our body. I'm not getting woo-woo, instead think about the last time you felt uneasy, anxious or worried - did you find that you couldn't sit still? Do you notice if you pace when you are uneasy, or perhaps feel the need to go on a walk, or get on your bike, or show up to Zumba (dance) class? This is all part of the autonomic nervous system and designed to keep the energies or moods or states in safe and social instead of in a state of flight or fight. So, not woo-woo at all. What the yoga does through asana is to try and get your mind and body to connect. This way we are better able to listen to our body and figure out what it needs so we can be in a safe and social state more often. This is what I love about the asana practice and the many styles of asana classes out there because sometimes it takes different ways to move our body to get to that safe and social state.

My first 8 years of yoga were done in New Jersey and all taught by Iyengar teachers, primarily two Iyengar teachers. The structure of the classes was the same, upon arrival we would sit and center - during our centering we would practice different breathing exercises, chant mantras and try to remain still, this could last from 5 minutes to 15 minutes. After that, my teachers would start teaching asanas, postures, one at a time, but in a sequence where the poses would build on each other. We didn't flow from pose to pose - a posture was named with instructions and cues on how to get into it and then the teacher would walk around the room and adjust the posture for your body. Sometimes we were in postures for a few minutes. Sometimes we were in and out of the same posture for half the class. Also, there was no music, just the sounds of us moving into postures, our breath and the teachers' voice. I would describe this type of practice as structured and routine-based and I obviously loved it as it provided a wonderful juxtaposition to my lifestyle in my 20s. 


After I moved to the DC area in 2007 the closest Iyengar studio was "too far" to be convenient and after a year of searching, discovered a flow studio 5 blocks from my home. The classes were so very different from what I was used to, loud music, one pose into another, laughing, singing, crying and because I was familiar with each posture I was comfortable enough in the studio. As a new mom, trying to create a schedule for naps, nursing, walks, this free form fun flowing class was just what I needed.  

This is what I love about yoga, whatever path you are on, I believe it can support you. This yoga path, in my 21st year of practicing yoga on a regular basis, has provided me with more support than anything else in my life. It's why I choose to keep walking this path of yoga. It's why I love teaching asana classes and infusing it with the other limbs, the philosophies and all the teachings I have learned over the years. 

I am looking forward to exploring asana and the other limbs with you, wherever you are on your path, step by step. 

Much Love, 
Jess
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What Kind Of Student Are You?

7/29/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

I have come to the end of the Yamas and the Niyamas. I can't believe it either. This is my 45th week of writing this blog and if you have been with me from the beginning or joined somewhere along the way- THANK YOU!! Thank you for reading, for sharing, and for providing me this outlet to explore yogic philosophy. There is so much more to yogic philosophy, so I am nowhere near being done with weekly emails. 

The yamas and niyamas are such wonderful tools to remind us what kind of student we want to be. Linda Johnsen, an author on yoga and other aspects of Hinduism, has a quote that I think cumulates what the yamas and niyamas are meant to do. 


"Commitments yoga students are asked to make: Not to harm, lie, steal, overindulge or desire more than you need; instead you are asked to be content, pure, self-disciplined, studious, and devoted." 

And this brings me to this question, What kind of student are you? Not just of yoga, of life? Do you learn from your lessons? Do you see the good in your mistakes? Are you inquisitive? Are you curious? Do you follow rules? Do you break the rules? Are you kind to yourself? Have you used any of the yamas and or niyamas to enhance your life?

There is a saying, "you teach what you need to learn" and each week, the philosophies have been reminders of what I am learning, what I am working on. I am a student of life for life - an inquisitive and curious one, I follow and break the rules, and I'm learning to be patient with myself. Learning to see the lessons in the mistakes, to have compassion when I am not always patient or kind. And to love myself as I love others. A work in progress student for certain.

I know that sometimes I can be critical with myself and practicing kindness toward myself through meditation can help. I have recorded this kindness, compassion, and love visualization meditation for you. Hopefully, it can help you as it has helped me. 

Click Here to access the video. 

With love,
Jess


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We are all connected.

7/22/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

Ishvara Pranidhara has been our focus this month, surrender to the divine. This last Niyama (personal practice) has been particularly difficult for me to explain. Essentially what is asked of us is to look beyond ourselves to find a sense of connectedness with others. In addition, can we dedicate our actions to benefit all beings and not just ourselves or our circle? Remembering that life is always evolving and that we are much stronger together than we are alone. 

We see life through our lens all the time if we aren't aware. What I mean by that is, it is our natural default to see or feel things from our perspective all the time. Our internal thoughts impact us, the external world impacts us, our past, our mood, sounds, smells, these all play a role in how we interpret things. When we find friends who interpret the world in the same way, they become our circle. We love being with others who agree with us, who validate us, who are like us. Also known as our comfort zone. We love these people, we have fun with these people and we feel connected with these people. 

Have you ever met someone who rubs you the wrong way? Who you don't see eye to eye with? Who spouts out opinions that seem irrational or just crazy? Is this their problem? I know in the past I would have thought that. But all the issues, stem from us. I believe it is our unwillingness to change our lens and our resistance to sitting in discomfort. I'm not saying we can see eye to eye with every single person in this world, but I am saying that we can learn a lot more about ourselves and how we connect with others when we can take the onus that the problems we face with others are on us. It's a hard one to remember. I would love to blame others for being passive-aggressive, bitter, spiteful, or even ignorant, but these are all stories that I have created. I have no idea where anyone else is coming from. We know this though, we all know the saying, "there are two sides to every story". Yet, we get really attached to our story and sometimes believe it's the only one to be heard. 

So how do we connect with others, how do we dedicate our actions to benefit all beings? We become aware, and we remember to try, again and again, every single day. I wish I had a clearer answer to this. There are lots of actions we can take every day to help us connect.
  • Meditation - I especially like Metta meditation or loving-kindness meditation. This is where repetitive phrases of love, kindness, and well wishes are said for someone you love, someone you feel neutral about, someone you don't like or have an issue with, and all beings everywhere. 
  • Remembering to put ourselves in other's shoes.
  • Ownership that the issue we have with others starts with us. 
  • Getting uncomfortable. Talking to someone you don't particularly like or get along with and trying to be receptive instead of judgemental. 
  • Make eye contact with a stranger and share a smile. 
  • Do things for others without any expectation of anything in return. 
These are just a few and I know you will have more to add, so please share. Let's not be too hard on ourselves either. All of this is a practice that takes time to cultivate and own. I believe, doing a little every day can create that connectedness we crave. 

I see you, I hear you, I value you, 
With Love, 
Jess
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I Give Up

7/15/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,

Have you ever given up? I have, many times. I think this is the yoga. I think this is part of our work. I think that knowing when to say "I give up" can be a profound moment. For a long time I was unwilling to admit that I gave up on things. I didn't want to admit because I worried that someone would call me out. Call me out that I hadn't tried hard enough, or that I gave up too soon. Also, I am my worst critic, so I'd be judging myself for the very same reasons. But in most of the times I gave up I am glad I did, all those times gave me lessons, just like the times I pressed on and proved I wasn't' limited. 

There are lots of reasons I have given up. When thinking about reasons, they generally boil down to situations not working in the way I would have liked them to work. Ultimately, in all these situations, giving up is not easy, even when it feels right. As an old friend used to say, "Nobody likes a quitter."

I've given up on a bunch of things this year. Most recently, I stepped away from the Yoga Flow Teaching Training Program I led for four years at Radiance Yoga in Old Town Alexandria. Walking away from the program I helped create was difficult because teaching students become teachers is one of the aspects of yoga I absolutely love. But the need to move on outweighed the need to stay. I think this where we all get to and then a change happens. When one need outweighs another. For some of us, the heavy feelings can cause haste and bitterness and burn bridges. Luckily, this was not the case here, but I definitely have those experiences too. 

This month our focus is on Ishvara Pranidhana, surrender to the divine. What I hope to learn in this lifetime is to surrender with grace. Maybe there is no difference between surrendering with grace and giving up, but I'd like to think so. Learning to listen to my gut more, learning to examine why I do the things I do, to really pay attention and be aware.

Have you ever walked away from something you loved? Have you ever given up? As of today, I do not have any regrets on anything I have given up on - what about you? 

With Love & Grace, 
Jess

P.S. I still will be leading Yoga Teacher Trainings, at The Greenhouse and being a guest teacher throughout Old Town Alexandria. Details will be out soon for that!
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Totally Devoted

7/8/2019

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Hello and Happy Monday,
 
I hope everyone is staying dry this morning. We are in week two of Ishvara Pranidhara, devotion to the supreme, the fifth and last Niyama, personal practices. 

What are you devoted to? Are there conditions with your devotions? How much time do you spend on these people or things you are devoted to? 

I am devoted to my children. My children are my greatest teachers and have opened up so many doors for me. Before having my children I was shy and riddled with anxiety, I was full of so much fear of not doing something right, or even worse, doing something wrong, that I avoided most things. When Michael was born I couldn't live in that space anymore. And being new to Old Town Alexandria, I thought this could be my chance to start new. I wasn't alone anymore, I literally had a baby I carried around everywhere with me. Michael brought me out of my shell, he quelled my anxiety and lessened my fears. I had already found yoga, so I found a mommy and me yoga class that helped me meet other moms and remember my love for practicing yoga with a group. Having Michael reminded me to slow down, to smell the flowers, to remember how incredible this Earth is, this life is, and what is truly important. Michael and all he encompassed was the final inspiration for me becoming a Yoga Teacher. And Melissa, she's been with me from day 1 of teacher training. Both my children have taught me to be braver than I think I am, stronger than I believe and more capable than I ever imagined. 

As difficult as separating and divorcing my ex-husband was, I couldn't have done it without them. I knew I wanted to create a better life, to have them not live with miserable parents, but instead to be in a thriving environment. I knew it would be difficult on my own, but I also knew it would be better for everyone. (we all know how that story evolved) 

During my Yoga Teacher Training, I missed one day because of a previous commitment. As homework for missing the day, I had to meet with one of the trainees and go over notes. I remember my friend going over what I missed and telling me that during the lecture we received there was mention of devotion and love and how the lecturer stated there was no such thing as unconditional love. That all love came with conditions. I remember thinking about that one statement for a long long time, I still think about it today. I cannot see the future, so I cannot tell you if I will change, but so far, my love, my devotion has been unconditional for Michael and Melissa.

Maybe some of you are thinking, this is too easy. Of course she loves her children unconditionally. Sadly, I know of a lot of parents that give up on their children, that leave their children, that have many conditions for loving those children. 

Unfortunately, I do not get to see my children every single day. There are some benefits of having "time off", but truly I am never not parenting. There is always something to be done or planned for. I spend a lot of my time thinking about them, their next adventure, what they eat and the list goes on. 

I ask you again, what are you devoted to? Are there conditions with your devotions? How much time do you spend on these people or things you are devoted to? 

Love, 
Jess

P.S. I am also devoted to you! Offering fun classes, researching new theories and ways to move the body to share with you to create a unique experience on and off the mat. 


P.S.S. RETREATS!! 1 private room with private bath opened up for my Labor Day Goddess Retreat - registration closes this week, so let me know ASAP if you want in. Tomorrow Hawaii information goes out on Social Media - there are still spots so let me know if you are coming!!
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