Hello and Happy Monday,
I started my 3-week vacation on Friday and it has been wonderful. We arrived in LA on Friday night and Santa Monica has just what I needed. It’s a fantastic feeling to be present. To not have deadlines, work, things taking you from the now.
I thought about Asteya – non-stealing, this weekend when Joe and I were eating out. At the end of the meal, I had this salad with quinoa and I knew it was stuck between a lot of teeth, I shined my teethy grin at him and said, "is there anything in there?" He smiled and said “yes, every tooth”. And I spent the next few moments working on that, yet we were still talking and enjoying ourselves, and then it hit me. We steal moments, we steal being present, when we get wrapped up in the little things happening, like food in our teeth. I’ve been out with acquaintance or a business lunch where I don’t end the meal with a teethy grin and say, “how’s it look”, instead my head fills with “is there stuff in my teeth, it feels like there is stuff in my teeth, I can’t smile with stuff in my teeth” Which takes me away from the present moment.
There are tons of examples of us stealing the moments by being in our own heads. Joe and I were driving to Pilates for Yogis a few weeks ago and started talking about how people would describe us when we aren’t in the room. We started coming up with words, and we stopped listening to each other because we were thinking of what we were going to say next – which ended with us saying the same things and admitting we weren’t listening, but instead in our own heads, and then laughing. Luckily laughing. There are situations where we don’t listen because we are thinking of our response, or green in our teeth, or a robin that landed on the tree outside, or..., and we miss something important someone says, and sometimes we can’t get a second chance to ask again.
Active listening isn’t always easy, like everything else, it’s a practice. But, I think we know it will keep us in the present moment and we’ll stop stealing the now away from ourselves.
Everyone wants to be seen and heard with value so I try to remember the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have do unto you”. Or the famous quote from Ram Dass (and book), “Be Here Now”. Easy in theory, yet can be difficult in real life. So, we practice.
I see you, I hear you, I love you,
Venice Beach is beautiful! I wanted to share my view from the last few days.